Self-study: Sarcasm, Survival and Socialising.

Oh what fresh Hell

2011-07-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

A month has zoomed pass in my highly lackluster summer. Filled with trolling the hospital, breakdowns, days of solitude and family drama; though there were glimmering tidbits on the opportunity whereby I get to meet up with my friends, all be it very few and far apart. The sinking feeling of uncertainty often catches up to me, and most of the time, this feeling is faced with no moral support and feeling of ease. Then again, this is probably a biased opinion from an admitabbly high-maintainance immature prat.

"It's a long way down," A clever person once said to me, and as daunting as it sounds I think I ought to acknowledge my current state of purgatory. Granted the "biggest" problem has now been resolved, it's just a matter of me pulling myself through, easier said than done. In all honesty, if I even have or want to have a shred of self-respect left I need to succeed.

This summer, apart from being constantly sunny which I have been more accustomed to than I have in the past, strangely enough, there is one recurring theme in every corner I look, BABIES!!! Be it the two munchkins at home, the nieces and nephews who have for some unkown reason, singled me out to be bullied from the surplus of uncles and aunties that they have at their disposal. I can't stand them, and I even dare go as far as say if (and hopefully when) I succeed with my medical training I shall not be a paediatrician, I just lack the patience.

How am I sure? Well, when you think of any justifiable reason to smack, whack or just inflict misery on a baby as much as I do, then you know it's time to stay away. At times, I even resorted to having a screaming contest with my baby half-brother when he goes all berserk and cries to his heart's content. Sigh, does that make me a horrible person, possibly? maybe? fine. The world will always side a baby over a disgruntled 20 year old, methinks.

Watching: Nodame Cantabile. (Currently on a bit of an anime binge, surprisingly enough)

Listening: I Wanna Go - Britney Spears

Reading: My Lectures at a slow yet steady pace.

Say Hello to Goodbye

2011-07-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

As another sleepless night is endured, my wandering mind runs wild with thoughts that does nothing less than push to me to the verge of depression. This is the usual result when you mix boredom and lack of sleep, a couple of years ago the effect of this unfortunate and rather disastrous combination lead me to a nihilistic mindset, of which I'm glad that I am rid off now. That was pretty bad, as usually I am just sarcastic, but add to that absolute cynicism to the whole idea of life, Oh boy.

This years one unfortunately have a rather more melancholic feel to it, and let me tell you there is not much that is as non-ideal as lacking sleep and feeling glum. My mind ponders on questions of relationships and friendships in particular. As a person, I'll be the first to admit that I am highly discontent, abrasive, aggressive and all-round bad person. Imagine my surprise to find myself in an overlapping circle of friends. Friends... hmmm surprised that I have any, seeing that I tend to prefer awkward silences over huge communal noise/conversations in large groups.

I am grateful that I do have these saint-like human beings who cope with my flaws, but there's one thing that I dread quite badly currently, and probably I am looking too far ahead but preparation is key. Separation is inevitable, that's a fact be it because of distance, time, strain or the ultimate that is death. It is far from our control, well at least that's my opinion. But looking ahead if I do pass my exam which have basically most of my life riding on it, and of which the results will be here soon, I have another 5 years to go (similar circumstances apply) and I've been forewarned, I'll be separated from those whom I lean on and thus I should prepare for this. My ever ingenious and manipulative brain has insisted on one method which is rather cruel to myself, though it might even be bad to my friends (me being slightly hopeful).

So as I see it, most of my friend will bugger off (meant in the nicest possible way) after three years ie two years from now and at the end of the successive year, I'll be virtually alone. I might be slightly overdramatising things but to the extent of point of view these are all true. Somehow from all this my brain has come up with a sort of "anti-social" shall I say method. It keeps telling me to cut off all forms of reliance or dependance on my friends, out of fear that rather losing them and be in agony, I'll be mentally prepared when that fateful day arrives. To make it clearer it seem like my brain is telling me to grab all my things and lead a solitary life.

Self Improvement

2011-06-20T01:23:00.000-07:00

,There comes a time in life whereby things seem to have reach a certain sense of equilibrium and there is balance in one's life. Be it socially, mentally or even holistically but now and again things come and disrupt this fine balance and suddenly your world is in an upset. Now this leaves it up to the individual to determine how she/he would be on the flip-side.

Being content is a great thing, whereby nothing else seem to matter and life seem bearable and even enjoyable. Alas not all things are as what they appear, in a content state, we seem to be in a sense of comfort in our own skin, that it seems like what we do is insignificant and therefore could not possibly be of any effect.

This erronious view of ourselves impinges our growth and thus an upset in the balance where such feeling of content is felt is a necessary evil. Personally, I've felt like my life was in a sense 'complete' or at least the best it could be but something or rather someone served me up a platter of reality check and all I can do was slap myself in the face to wake me up and realise the errors in my ways. Granted it was not a smooth road to go on and even now I'm still hopefully improving, in every sense of the word.

Be it far from me to tell people how their lives should be lived, but in the whole scale of things, there is always room for improvement, it doesn't necessarily have to be huge changes but a change for the better should always be welcomed.

That's what I go to school for...

2011-01-12T12:28:00.000-08:00

In the first three months of medical school I struggled ( a lot) and became annoyed and frustrated with the stuff that has been chucked at me. This is mainly because of the fact that we had to go through the nitty-gritty of it all which means anything that seem vaguely medic-y is either an underlying thing and occur very scarcely. But that was so... last term! Oh did I mention how lonely it is!

Now, This term has kick-started and I am starting to enjoy myself. How can I tell? I am feeling a lot less depressed and the stuff that the lecturers are presenting are now being treated more as pearls of wisdom by my brain rather than the ranting of maniacal academics who are shoving humongous amounts of information down my throat. It's highly probably due to the fact that there seem to be a lot more clinical utilisation to it all. Ah....Purpose.

Formative Exam. Well Let's Just Wait And See.

Lately I have witnessed 2 potential Oscar nominated (winning even, if I dare say so. I'm sorry I don't think the Social Network should win) movies and do admit I enjoyed both of them for different reasons; each having their own merits but I find myself preferring one to the other.The King's Speech and 127 Hours. The King's speech wins. Yes, in both cases it's not for everybody but if you enjoy a good film with stellar acting I recommended watching 'em both. King's speech- great spirit and ambiance, colourful characters and did I mention great acting namely Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham-Carter, Peter Pettigrew as Winston Churchill was quite interesting though. 127 Hours- Great cinematography what would you expect from Danny Boyle, James Franco played the multi-faceted character brilliantly(Aron), though slow at parts, all in all it was liberating. Extra amusement when my friends who went along to watch the film cringe at the sight of self-amputation. Well, necessary evil.

Watching: Greek

Listening: Devotchka-How It Ends

Reading: FCA course guide.

I'm Pretty Sure I'm Doomed

2011-01-08T15:59:00.000-08:00

One day left to cram about 70-ish lectures in my head. In the presence of my roomie who is currently in a worryingly groggy state trying to console me. I'm trying to stay calm and collected in order to allow even just a petty amount of information into my currently obstinate brain whose partially impervious to education and knowledge that has been exposed to me.

Today has been specially unproductive, I had a worrying headache which pretty much bound me to my bed as even the slightest movement will deal me with an imponderable confusion accompanied by a tad bit of pain and the joyous feeling of being nauseated.

Why did I have to procrastinate studying til such an alarming time?? "It's the rush!" he said sarcastically, but seriously I need put my head in the game or else I'll strike out and end up in the gutter.(sports pun)

You know the saying that a marathon is a war not a battle, I wonder if that analogy is also congruent to studying. I'm stuffed! Pants!

Watching: Little Mosque on The Prairie

Listening: The shrill sound of my phone charger.

Reading: Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.

Oh Bugger!!

2011-01-05T17:25:00.001-08:00

It's nearing the end of the first holiday of university and even though I'll be evaluated on my knowledge pretty soon, I haven't been bothered to look up, read, revise or even skim through the surplus of lecture slides which I am expected to digest and soon be required to regurgitate it all back. This is made even worse by the fact that it'll consist of the science aspect where I have to remember how cyanide kills, etc and then the humanities bit involving Sociology(cba!), epidi, clinical com and FCA. Well, wish me luck!

You'd expect me to reminisce about how great 2010 was and recall all of the triumphs that I enjoyed but that's rather self-indulgent so I'll proceed with something else. 2011 hmmmm... what am I expecting?, hopefully I wont need to re-sit (Amin), apparently I have a feckload of attachment work over the summer holidays which is always great (he said rather sarcastically) and hopefully if the stars align, I'll be able to travel(List so far: England, Wales, Spain, France and Scotland).

Oh and the house-hunt begins again. Due to the worry that I might be homeless in the next academic year, I'd have to start browsing for a house/flat. For me the factors that are involved in choosing a place are distance from college, availability of Halal food, availability of transport, cost and if it's not too much of an ask, a double bed would be greatly appreciated. The poor unfortunate person to have been struck to be fated as my housemate is Anwar (hope he won't kill me, well if my current roommate does not do it first).

Happy belated New Years!!

Watching: Catherine Tate's sketches

Listening: Beggin' -Madcon/Jersey Boys

Reading: The King's Speech

A Question Of Manning Up

2010-11-12T03:53:00.000-08:00

In the past week, the weather in London have been quite gloomy. How the wind did blow, the rain did pour and the dull grey cloud did evoke a sense of melancholy, but I'm not here to give the weather report so let us move onwards to hopefully something more interesting.

Back in secondary school, I rejoiced in being busy, loved getting getting my hands dirty and all in all liked getting involved. Be it something that I am capable of and those which are my forte or those that I am ridiculously hopeless in and end up being there as a gesture of tokenism. In the first month of university, I did a 180. You'd be lucky to see me anywhere social as I have adopted the stereotypical asian maneuver of laying low and playing the role of the reclusive one. But last week something astonishing happen, a glimpse of my former life in my current routine.

There is two major problems that I have with university life; the large student population evident in one of my previous rants and the fact that the main time for societies and clubs are at night. So it was a bit of a surprise that I was out for 5 nights out 5 this weekdays. This is what happened:

Monday Night- Fresher's play dry run

Tuesday Night- University Challenge Pub Quiz

Wednesday Night- Chelsea v Fulham match

Thursday Night- Final fresher's play rehearsal

Friday Night- Fresher's play performance

Granted that the fresher's play is not too time consuming and the Chelsea match is not uni related (I recommend it to anyone, the atmosphere is amazing and it's more fun watching footy live though the profane language was a bit of cause to blush) and my team in pub quiz came second and didn't get to represent our faculty (though we got 4 quid tab on the bar so not too much of a loss). It's a good start I think. Start small then build up.

I met my patient this week and thats all the info that I wish to get into or can get into. Generally, I am a much happier bunny than I was last week.

Watching: Merlin

Listening: Like A G6-Far East Movement

Reading: TFL website.... so frustrated (Puts my shopping plan astray).

Contentment In Obscurity?

2010-11-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

I recall, I reminisce and I digress. Looking back into the past is probably not very productive but that's what you usually do when you end up outside of your comfort zone. My track record so far has resulted in me being slightly above average in most cases and even better in other times (sorry, if that comes off a bit arrogant). I currently feel like a shrinking violet; is it because I've become complacent and uncommitted to any of my non-academic activities?? Is it the lack of a close circle of friends of whom I can see face-to-face in order to confide my worries and miseries?? or maybe just the fact that I'm so used to having a certain reputation whether it be the boy who's always late, that speech dude or even people just knowing my name??.

But no one likes a shrinking violet, so I'm killing that chapter pretty soon, I have to dig deep and try being more sociable and get back my stride. Diligence is key. Well I ought not to dwell on this topic as I have not started on any of my course work. Luckily, there has not been any assignment as far as I'm concerned so it's all a matter of memorising the plethora of terms and the complex networks of biochemistry which the body cells undergo without us so much as feeling it.

So this is pretty much one month into tertiary education studying medicine. Sigh....It's only going to get tougher, so shrug all my troubles off, man up and jog on in order for me to develop as a better doctor and a better person in general.

Summary:

Feckloads to remember, Cough-filled lectures, Alcohol-driven socials, Cool tutorial group, Awesome tutor, Memorable Skype sessions and Interesting auditions.

Watching: Alex Day's Twilight Videos

Listening: If It Kills Me- Jason Mraz

Reading: George Orwell's 1984

Blast To The Past

2010-10-31T04:50:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I had the pleasure of re-meeeting someone from my primary school. It has been seven years and unfortunately I have completely lost contact with anyone from that era of my troublesome and illustrious childhood. I was always the 'english'-driven one in an arabic preparatory school and I was also the student who garnered the best attendance record but had a record number of being late. It is at this school I discovered my utter futility in the sporting field.

Thinking about this makes me wonder, am I a horrible person?? I have transferred schools quite often and most of the time its because I am ONE OF THE CHOSEN ONE (I hate this label, it implies I need to work harder). This results in me moving on and into an alien environment with new people and completely detached from the social life that I had in my previous school. As a result, I do not have a 'childhood friend'. The furthest back a close friend of mine goes is from secondary 1 and I am currently in the same uni as him.

Okay, enough with the depressing nostalgia reminisce crap. Time to return to the present, well relatively more recent past. Yesterday, I along with a couple of friends of mine went out to Covent Garden. It led to an interesting exchange of words whereby someone said

S: I miss London

Me: Me too

S: Dude you live in London!

Me: Fine! I miss this bit of London

I was being honest, not that I don't like the secure and luxurious ambiance of my current residence but it's so dull. This is probably due to the fact that I do not hang out in the common room as often as I did in boarding school or maybe due to the lack in Bruneian interaction. There are some malay people in the hall but they've been as reclusive as the presence of fat medics in my uni are scarse.

Watching: Survivor

Listening: Promise This - Cheryl Cole

Reading: Philosophy For Dummies.

I'm Not As Stupid As I Sound

2010-10-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

Blood!! Blood!! Blood!!! Well seeing that halloween is coming pretty soon thought I would do 'A Night of The Dead' kind of post. Just kidding, I don't really have much of an attachment to the candy-filled, party-centered and costume-cultured celebration. There was a pumpkin in the communal kitchen and a note that informs us of a pumpkin carving competition being held, I don't know anything on carving but I can try cooking it??.

There is a relevance though to the blood uniform tricolon of sorts(to be fair its more of a I wanna sound creepy thing). Being a medical student, there are things you are expected to know and do right off the bat. So three weeks in, you end up pricking yourself to collect your own blood and prepare it for further investigation. This is a week after fiddling with horse's blood the week before. Gosh this is such a bloody course.

So basically I was so scared looking at the actually pretty innocent looking lancet. It's an instrument that's usually used on diabetics to obtain blood for checking blood sugar concentration. My first attempt failed my blood dried quicker than I had time to fiddle with it. So I took another sample.

Notice the grooves on the side of the white bit, those are settings. So in order to get more blood the second time round, well I had to turn it up (Man up!). This time round I actually felt something and it bled quite a bit but hey what doesn't kill you right??

This is child's play compared to week 4!! Venipuncture anyone?? Probably an illustration will help. (Vein + puncture.... there you go.)

So how would you feel if you're someone's first ever phlebotomic experiment?? Granted the girl who did it on me was a future doctor, well I am too.... hopefully. I was nervous, excited and hyper. She ended up being my lab partner for the day, she seem to have little faith in my experimental knowledge or actually just intelligence in general, it was my fault really I was rambling. So I came up with the gem that became the title of this post "I'm not as stupid as I sound,". In the end, we even got commendable results at one point. Booyah!!

Watching: Katy Brand vs...... (She's hilarious)

Listening: Emma Pilsbury's number in Rocky Horror Glee Show (It's so disturbing yet so funny)

Reading: The newest edition of Felix

You Iz Noyzee Blud

2010-10-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

Admittably I may be slightly exaggerating on the previous posts. I mean come on, 280 students (283 I think it was?) and not one friend?? I'll be honest I did manage to befriend a group of people who are quite different to one another and yet quite similar. This is what I observe or maybe its just because I only see them around each other and this is mainly in the practical sessions(Thank you practical or else I'll be an absolute loner :( ).

Description of my ragtag band of brothers(None of these are meant to be derogatory):

A christian who has a high affinity to trekking, been around the world and a local,a musical theatre buff from singapore who enjoys fencing and one who has more charisma then the volume of coke I consume a week in boarding school .

I have never been a big fan of cliques yet I am in one ( and I am grateful for it). Medics are no different than any other students in that sense. Though they try to deny any sense of isolation and segregation and make themselves seem like social floaters between different people, there are cliques and it blatantly obvious but it was inevitable in a sense.(yeah 280 people are just great buddies with each other???). Nerds and Jocks as if.... most of them are both.

To give you a rough idea of it, there are those who feel that they are taking the moral high ground and are more academically concern and at times look down on the other students (Aahh...the joy of eavesdropping). Nationality and ethnicity also tend to bring people together but also create boundaries. I guess taking part in ruggers, footie and other endeavours does help in developing social appendages. The title also imply when people get together during lectures they make noise and distract others.

With regards to the title of the previous post, I find it difficult to find a medic of my 'horizontally-challenged'-ness, though thats not surprising. Health workers should be healthy.

Watching: The Rocky Horror Glee Show.

Listening: Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

Reading: is something I should be doing, especially my lecture notes.

Where The Fat Medics At?

2010-10-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

10 glycolysis stages, tons of enzyme names, a number of youtube videos, a social studies documentary and a handful of acquaintances. Not quite the impact that I was hoping for especially after the encouraging bestowment of the coveted award. "Slowly but surely," is my current mindset. I feel like the tortoise in the fable but one that is paralysed :P. So progress is sure and slow and surely slow.

My reasoning for the lack luster performance on the social front includes the absence from medic socials, fresher's events, one PBL tutorial (Silly, silly boy!!) and the ditching of certain clubs and societies that I have signed up to during Freshers' Fair.

Being some sort of social pariah or a slight bit of a hermit is not a new occurance for me. In fact, I have embraced it to be a characteristic of mine. Over time, I do tend to shed the metaphoric shell and be more welcoming, friendly and warm especially when a situation calls for it(chuckles of disagreement expected).

Recently I have watched two different movies with two different groups of people in the same cinema at different times. (It does make sense)

Here are my reviews if you care:

Africa United

It was a heart-warming romp in which the kids played their characters so sincerely that the audience were at the palm of their hands. Eventhough it is slightly niched due to its many football references (Soccer to non footie fans) it was a feel good movie that should at least give a slight tingle on your heartstrings if not full fledged sobbing. The lack of publicity that I have seen for it which indicates its low-keyness to me, I believe it is an understatement of how good it was as a film. On a personal note, the character Dudu has the charisma of an annoying little kid that everybody loves to talk to and probably bully. To my brother, yes I am referring to you!!

Wall Street

The jargon filled script and economics based scenes in the movie does not help in the attempt to give the movie a very corporate or even potentially sinister ambiance. Acting wise, I thought Carey Mulligan was compelling and unfortunately for Shia LaBeouf I still could not picture him outside of the Even Stevens' household.

On a more intimate bit, my stomach is reaching the cut-off point for indomie I'm guessing eating n packets a day or even per serving is not healthy. To my parents no worries I've (eaten?) healthy and hearty meals such as laksa ayam, kaicok ayam, chicken tetrazzini (Fun fact it is named after an italian opera star but then thats according to wiki so don't quote me)

Watching: Xfactor's Matt Cardle's version of a britney classic.(Baby one more time?)

Listening: Michael Mcintyre's audiobook (Bloody Mail!!! but at least I'm almost finished).

Reading: My Sociology Module Guide.

Accelerando

2010-10-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

As forementioned on the previous post, I will continue in my 'memorable moments so far' bit in the style of the Big Bang Theory-esque sub-posts title.

The Distraction-Frustration Field
My proper lectures have just begun and though the things they covered were basics it does extend a bit more to what I've learnt so far. Unfortunately in a room of almost 300 student, trying to focus is slightly difficult. Adding insult to injury the other students have a tendency towards incessant coughing which lo and behold doesn't help.

The Loner Postulate
Sympathy is something I don't require because I know how 'lucky' I am to be in my current position. However, the realisation that I am alone in a room of ~300 students isn't really a sunny one. I do feel depressed and melancholic but hey live goes on, I've tried to distract myself from the loneliness and sort of make use of activities and societies in order to socialise without alcohol.

The 'Rindu' Epiphany
As much as I'd like to say I've moved on quite happily from Dean Close, I can't honestly lie to myself??(Is that a paradox?) I miss the school, well again delving into the cliche I miss the people. I miss the lunch with the junies, going to the garage at night, having supper, lunch and breakfast served, heck! I even miss the lessons, roll call and Tower!

The Ticket Debate
About two weeks ago I purchased the ticket for the freshers' ball which took place yesterday. The Sul that bought the ticket was optimistic and thought he ought to have proper good medic friends by then. However, he was being naive and on the eve of the ball he felt poorly and had no proper medic friends as of yet. Well I wish him all the best and good luck! He'll need it. (Yes I did refer to myself in the third person)

The Mantoux Repetition
Quite self-explanatory, being a medic everything has to be taken into accoun t thus since I have not been in the UK for 5 years I had to do it again. How Tedious....

The Audition Inauguration
Well again quite straightforward, I auditioned for a drama and currently waiting for the outcome. Accents used: American, Texan and Eastern European. Blekh....

The Vocal Disaster
I also auditioned for the light opera production Disney's Beauty and the beast and during practice I was pretty much nailing the song (I'd like to think so). Unfortunately, I nailed it too much that when it came time to perform my voice crackled and embarassment ensued.

That's all the sub-posts for the beginning of my time in Imperial College as a sober medic, good luck finding another, I have though quite a few.

Watching: Only Connect (Duh! I'm a nerd?!)
Listening: The sound of the printer running in the library, pun intended
Reading: Hopefully Michael McIntyre's new autobiography.

Zonkey

2010-10-10T03:22:00.000-07:00

Between this post and the last, there has been a number of memorable occurances that ought to be noted. Thus in order to do each of them justice, I'll present them in sub-posts with titles that pay homage to The Big Bang Theory.

The Extra Seat Complication.

Hui Jin, Sin Yi and I went to Ikea. There was a free shuttle bus from the tube station to the store. Upon boarding the bus the driver said "sorry I only have room for 2 people," at that point I was feeling rather guilty towards the girls as I tagged along at the last minute. The annoying thing was there were empty seats shotgun right next to the driver and it could fit at least three. Eventhough the good people on the bus thought that pointing them out would be of help but the driver refused to see their point. Thus the three of us reluctantly went to a nearby bus station and had to sacrifice several oyster credit just to get to ikea.

The Pronunciation Humiliation

Shel-ves. Enough said.

The Hyperactivity Manifestation

The atmosphere in the ikea store must have messed with my head as I was very much in a frantic state and was highly gigglish. I was scared I became a hazard in the kitchenware section of the Market Hall.

The Throw Pillow Confrontation

Chivalry is pretty much alive and well as far as I'm concerned but when it came to my more close friends it sort of goes out of the window. During my second trip to Ikea with Baz, I bought a number of throw pillows enough to fill in one of the large ikea bags, where as she bought more dense and heavy things. She did hint to me that the bag she was carrying was heavy but I don't like hints they're too subtle. Well how did she react? A confrontation is not exactly the appropriate word but she chose to mar me by telling the story to others. It's all in good humour.

The Boat Party Congregation.

It was the first night for the freshers in Imperial. Fisher hall freshers went on a cruise down the Thames. It was somewhat entertaining yet boring?? Well basically its an ice breaking session that is inevitable unless you cleverly sneaked off beforehand. On the boat, there were pretty much two sections the chatting section and the dancing section. Unfortunately alcohol played a huge part in the event, well at least in my opinion. I commute nomadicly from one quite area to another in hope that I'll escape the clinches of drunkards. But on a boat full of freshers, it was pretty much impossible except for a couple of exceptional people who don't drink or those who chose human interaction to drowning their sorrows or probably amping their excitement with alcohol.

The Swine Conclusion.

Hunger messes with your head that's all I can say. I was in Kiasu whereby pretty much all the meat that needs to be halal is, so I innocently ordered Char Kway Teow completely oblivious to the presence of "Chinese Sausages,". Upon eating the sausage i realised it tasted rather odd, so I asked my good friend Luke to query the manager of the content of the sausages and the rest is just history.

That's all I will recall for now but I will continue in the mini series that is my sub-posts soon enough.

To family back home, No worries I'm Fine.

Watching: The King is Dead

Listening: Morning psych up playlist

Reading: The guides for first year medic and trying to actually distill it into the essentials.

Let me be lecture-y

2010-09-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

So many hills we had to climb

almost without our strength

but we kept

slowly marchin on

time heals the wounds we couldnt close

blood sweat and tears dried up

we're okay

we kept marchin on

I'm not one to quote songs but this resonates quite strongly with myself. I interpret it both on a deep metaphorical level and also on literal level. On a more frivolous and literal level I took it to be torture that was the never ending, always demeaning, demoralising and for me the most physical I've ever had to do in my life that is now surprisingly of a nostalgic value . I am referring to the Gold Duke of Edinburgh's expedition and its practices.

On a more metaphorical level, I took it to be the ever constant struggle to succeed and all the obstacles I had to overcome so far. Whether it was the teachers who physically threatened and tortured me to dejecting peers who discarded me as if I was some sort of social pariah or mocked with no remorse. I do tend to hold a grudge yes I do but as the saying goes "Success is the best form of revenge,".

So on the brink of hopefully receiving the SS, I hope it helps you whoever you are, you who happened to stumble upon my blog would still have a chance to succeed just never give up and push through and who knows, you might just get the last laugh(In the least offensive way).

Reading: The Time On The Clock (It's 4:16 as of now or rather then)

Listening: Taio Cruz

Watching: ANTM (don't judge, it's funny)

Feeling Inspired.

2010-09-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

Being this close to the beginning of my tertiary education, I start having second thoughts about it. Most of them are in the form of an 'inferiority complex'. This stems from reading a certain cuzzy-cuzzy's blog and seeing how difficult she's finding things. It all makes me feel intimidated and worried that I might not be good enough for one of the toughest course in one of top unis around.

On the contrary, perusing through the surprisingly thick yet somewhat frivolous fresher's handbook also made me feel excited for it. Unfortunately, though I am one for new experiences and learning new things the vastness of the field that is medicine makes me feel very small and being the only bruneian out of the 200+ students in the lecture hall is not a comforting thought.

Not that I'm not grateful for it and when I think about it, opting to go to UCL instead wouldn't have made it any better. Thus, I have reached the decision that I will try my best to mingle eventhough it goes against my usual ASBO persona when it comes to strangers.

I have also been browsing through the list of clubs and societies in the university, though some are right up my alley, I can't help but think that I'll be too scared to make the first step. What with the lack of the help that was given by my at times supportive tutor back in Dean Close and the fact I am not staying in a student's hall, it makes it more difficult for me to overcome the barrier that usually is formed when I meet a stranger especially when it comes to people who are supposedly my peers.

At least there is something that is currently going well and consistently, the househunt. Having agreed on certain things that are necessities and some are extravagance, it seems like we've struck a middle ground and a compromise to fully satisfy the three inhabitants of the future place.

Reading: Medicine(hopefully..)

Listening:Kaiser Chiefs

Watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0

Bittersweet Limbo State

2010-09-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hello There,

Its about 6 days before I jump on a plane for an ungodly amount of hours back to the UK. This is after having about 2 months holiday in good ol' Brunei Darussalam. I did enjoy my time home, though admittably in the beginning, I was slightly unhappy to be back and be a burden on the shoulders of my family but after a while everything started to sync and I'm quite content. Boredom did ensue at times but for the most part it was a productive~ish holiday. This year I finally get to celebrate Raya again but not with the same feeling as I was accustomed to, as now I am more known to be the one who just got back from England.

It surprises me that though I have reached the ripe age of 20, I am still being given a green packet (ang pau) =B and at times even get mistaken to be the younger brother which is even more gratifying. Stuffing my face from house to house with all the served delicacies especially those of the meat and chicken kind has been very enjoyable. Alas, Raya was never meant to last forever. It's also a time for forgiveness and victory, well at least the thought of it was good.

I am currently rummaging through websites upon websites of house letting agencies in London for an affordable option of a home, as currently my accommodations in London seem to be the damp, unsanitary and shady pavements of Westminster or there's always Brunei Hall. It was my own fault to not have accept my halls offer promptly or else this would have not been an issue.

Apart from the matters stated above, I've also been waiting anxiously for some big news, it's gotten to the point that I've lost the energy to care. As I am being bombarded with rumours that only seem to slim my chances, I have opted to ignore it. Filling the void in time and space that could have easily been filled by the horrid feeling of waiting by expanding my idea of time and space by watching the amazingly crafted Doctor Who and also the wittily written Blackadder.

So here's where I am now.

Reading: Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing.

Listening: Onerepublic.

Watching: Doctor Who & Blackadder.

The original messages.

2010-03-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

I am sucker for sentimentality so here I put as a reminder and also just in case anyone wanted to read how the actual proper message was meant to be!(Typo and all!)

From: Mr/Ms George Fowler

Hey Sul, wish you the best with Uni and the rest of your life as well. Hope you keep the guitar going as well.
Sul xxx

From: Mr/Ms Nazirul (Naz) Haji Mohammad Jaini

The guy with a thing for sarcastic remarks, and with the hots for chemistry, and never far off froma laughter and smiles, even if it is an awkward situation. Wishing you all the best in life, in good heart and health.

From: Mr/Ms Patrick Wilson

SUL!!! What an absolute legend you've been over the past two years. EID has definately become a favourite of mine. You've always got a smile on your face and i wish you the very best of luck in life. You're a proper good guy. xxxx

From: Mr/Ms Akniyet Baimakhanova

Sul, it's been pleasure to know u over tha past 2 yaers...we've gud memmories from EYP and our crazy maths lessons...wish u all the best)))

From: Mr/Ms Jian-Zhang (James) Zhang

You have a nice personality, you are as same as Nazi............... Never get angry.I like that(hahaahaha), wish you be a great doctor and always happy :).

From: Mr/Ms Mark Gregory

You are my favourite Brunien!! Thank you for your genorosity and the fact that you are just an all round nice guy!! we will DEFINETLY keep in touch my cuddly friend! Love xx

From: Mr/Ms Yi Jing (David) Deng

Sulaiman! your laughs all the time and always make me happy. it's been so nice to met you. Good luck and tack care.

From: Mr/Ms Xin (Jimmy) Wang

hey SULAIMAN~~iI like talking with you y ou are funny and nice. and I quite enjoy several times on the train haha.. anyway nice to meet u..

From: Mr/Ms Xin (Jimmy) Wang

hey SULAIMAN~~iI like talking with you y ou are funny and nice. and I quite enjoy serval times on the train haha.. anyway nice to meet u..

From: Mr/Ms Ho Yin (Keith) Ho

soloman, it was great to meet you, we had fun in our sciences especially in L6, hope you will have an amazing uni life,,, i m gonna miss you

From: Mr/Ms Ching Ho (Jeffrey) Ho

Muhammad Sulaiman Haji Sufardi!!!!!!! i miss all the fun we have in the Noodles corner haha! wish you become a really good doctur and safe the world! lol and have fun with your 4 wifes in the future haha xD love you so much and will not forget! will visit u when i come Brunei!xxxxxxx

From: Mr/Ms Pok Yiu (Jeffrey) Leung

Hi SUL, before anything, I have to tell you that PHYICS is BETTER than CHEMISTRY XD

Sul, when you go to uni, remember to take medicine when you get ill la. Also I will always come to find you durring uni la so I can annoy you lol (XDD)

Here, I will give you my Best Wish to you for your future.

From: Mr/Ms Robert Glyde

Sul - I have enjoyed (I think) sharing an entire timetable with you for the last 2 years. You have been very annoying (as I'm sure you know) but have had the occasional moments of kindness for which I thank you (ok a bit more than occasional). I hope that you may think similar things about me and that you have a good life. Rob.

From: Mr/Ms Ben Miller

Sul, havn't really got to know you much until this year, but we've had some good prefect fun and Biology lessons. You're always laughing in them!! Good luck with uni and all the best for the future

From: Mr/Ms Harry Prance

Hello my foreign friend, we have had some fantastic times: EYP, maths lessons, towel sharing and general chat about human rights abuse. I'm sure we will see each other about London and I will try and get you to an art gallery some time when you're not fasting. Good luck and Goodbye and one last thing: "Walk with me...". Harry

From: Mr/Ms William Lancashire

Hello my racially confusing friend... I don't know whether to make a joke about noodles or say its been a "blast" knowing you. Ah well I'll just wish you good luck with Uni and with life, I'm sure you'll become the Sultan one day. You'd better keep in touch for banter, and also because I'll be coming to visit you in Chav Central Brunei, your village on stilts...

From: Mr/Ms Edward Poole

Muhammad Sulaiman Bin Haji Sufardi Bin Haji Ibrahim. The coolest Bruneian, no question. It's been wicked mate, really enjoyed it. You better stay in touch, i'm going to visit you at some point!!! The mutual banter was cool and glad you appreciate my inquisitive nature about your praying. You are such an explosive person.
Pooley xxx

From: Mr/Ms Edward Poole

From: Mr/Ms Cameron Chapman

Sul...you are my favourite Brunaien and you always will be xxxxx

From: Mr/Ms Khairi Ismail

Hi Sul!

Good luck with university, u know u'll do great. Gonna see u again in London most probably, if not Brunei Hall, where else~ Big future ahead of us. Hope to see u somewhere in the medical field, all the saving people's lives and stuff. Again, good luck with university and any exams that comes along. x) -Kai

From: Mr/Ms Sin Lang (Lester) Thoo

Sully :p 2 years in Dean Close went by fast and it's great that we have shared loads of laughter, especially in math classes, oops xD Thanks for being a supportive friend and being able to tolerate me at times when I'm not particularly nice :p Best of luck where ever you go to and become the best that you can be... and you deserve it.

Sul's Back

2010-02-25T10:16:00.000-08:00

I have recently been quite active in the dying world of the blogosphere. Today has been a good day though I had to finish my coursework during physics clinic time but I am particularly due to a little side note left by my physics teacher about my recent preps, I find most 'positive reinforcements' in the form appraisals usually quite vapid yet I cant help but feel acknowledged by the simple phrase that is today's title.

I am at the point that I believe that I do not wish to throw in the towel but my inherent incapability to excel in anything as I simply lack the self discipline and motivation.

Another good news-ish today is that I passed my D1 trial and it was a mark off a B, it does not sound all that impressive but I believe I should be happy after all the horrid hypothetical situation that I have foreseen myself to be in beforehand.

That's all for today.

PS I am currently learning La Bamba on guitar.

Negaraku Brunei Darussalam!

2010-02-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

I wish the people in the peaceful Sultanate of Brunei a Happy 26th National Day!

Although this horrendous week has just started, the weeks ahead seem to also have build up at quite an alarming rate(Fortunately, My tranport for both my European city breaks to Paris and Barcelona is sorted and I have them to look forward to).

My ISA result for biology has returned and if IT wasn't a rude wake up call, I don't know what is, cause it is the real exam and my future sort of depends on it! Hopefully my second ISA will give a much better and more relieving (for lack of a better term) outcome.

The practice for the house competition have fruited the same thing: Breathe Sul Breathe!! Well Wish Me Luck!

In Shambles?

2010-02-20T03:57:00.000-08:00

Oscar Wilde, Rodgers and Hammerstein and The Beatles meet Alfred Nobel, Charles Darwin and Stephen Hawking. These are the people who are currently inhabiting my head alongside my family and friends.

I am currently in limbo where the universities are concerned, the problem is since Cambridge was an unrealistic shot in the dark was my actual first choice as it had the urban educational-esque ambiance whilst still being in the countryside(...ish). Other than my fruitless vie for Cambridge, I am currently courted with offers from Bath U(Biochemistry) and UCL (Medicine!) while also waiting for a reply from Bristol and hoping that the upcoming Imperial interview will go well in hopes that I will a have option the medical courses offered and in medicine even 2 offers may be considered superfluous unless you're an absolute prodigy! (Which I can sincerely and proudly say that I am not!).

In this upcoming week I will struggle as I am facing a D1 and FP2 trial which unfortunately I understand close to null about. It will be such a miraculous feat if I manage to pass both. Easter is approaching and though my Paris trip is completely sorted, my Barca trip is a bit more iffy as I do not know if I am at a position to cope with financial expenses that it entails.

Other noteworthy upcoming events: House Music, ISA (chemistry), Badminton matches..

Till then

Sul Sufardi

10 months-13 kilos-17 days left

2009-06-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

Hari ani alangkah euphoricnya aku meliat timbangan when it pointed at 77-ish kilo, that means I have lost bout 13kg in the duration of my UK life but no one would've thought it, I myself do not notice much of a difference though I'm not much of a mirror hogger.

I went splurging today and maybe this will sound pathetic but a spent a large amount of money for books both those I read as a side thing and those that is a preliminary summer reading to enrich my knowledge sorry if that sounded too much like BS! Today was the last actuallly lesson day(tear...), I'm gonna miss the teachers that are going to leave Mr Marchand, Ms Coulton and soon enough I will also have my last lesson with Mr Fitch just after one term as his speech and drama student(sigh....).

I'm giving my room the thorough spring cleaning it requires so I can create the right studying environment. Kami sudah star a small bit of A2 syllabuses bio seems very annoyingly tideous and in chemistry we met something familiar....the electrochemical series with a bit of tweeking but its like revisioning O level but i fret that this will make obstinate to pay attention.

That's all for today

Scurvy....or not.

2009-06-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

For the past two days, I have been forcing myself to do some physical activities in the dusky evenings that is for the sake of looking lebih presentable bila balik....(as if!). So when the gym was closed today I joined Keith in running laps round Big Field to the athletics track and back, admittably I didn't do it properly pemalas bah apakan dipaksa.

My prefect duty went fine though I almost flew solo in the morning when Jack forgotten to come in early and barutah ku merasai going in for all the 4 meals that the school serves. Another notable thing was that I manage to do 1-ish pull up...How pathetic! but its an achievement none the less.

When I was jogging I realised that there was a painful sensation around my jaw area, my diagnosis scurvy, probably isn't though. Well either way I have to eat more fruits or at least just eat healthier food.

I'm torned now though on what books I want to get(huh, what a nerdy thing to say!) for summer reading both for a form of relaxation and knowledge consolidation.

Sul Sufardi Dean Close Bruneian Friend signing off.

No Thank You?

2009-06-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am not one to hog the limelight but I was told an unnecessary fact, my inconvenient truth per say. Apparently I am a natural at performing, HUH?

I guess to further understand this sudden outburst a back story is in order. Well between the two exams that I sat for earlier instead of consolidating my chemistry I was out and about school along with Pinny, Ben Miller, Fordy and Renata shooting footage for our video interpretation of what Dean Close means to us. Sekalinyakan c Ben sabut aku patut jadi orang yang kana tail oleh camera and whipped that idea as far as possible trabang sampai ke pulau si Bungor! Tepakai banar jua diorang ani kan my speeches sheesh, all I can do is CRINGE! Well in the end kami semua did part of the Dean Close Day, I did Break till lunch and being the nerd I am I did chem in p5 well I was acting obviously, with a fake question of what is free-radical substitution gila sekalinya the chem paper was a b*!@h membari banci sudahtah panjang yang jarang keluar kana tanya cam I only revised for 25 mins on the real day so all I can do now is wish for the best.

Back to the video, I guess by the time Mr Fitch is done putting it all together I'll post it up just for the sake of making myself cringe (one of the many perks of being a prefect!). I faked playing the guitar. I am SH?T, I cant play I can't even fake it....The last scene is hilarious a tad bit disturbing and a dash of cute? Well hopefully the video comes soon.

Oh now I remember what is the most embarassing part of the video......
Big S to the S Sul Sufardi.

C3 was relatively better than Chem wo!did I just say that?.

Esuk duty bangun awal lah tu.

The Final 20 Days Before The First Trip Back Home

2009-06-10T03:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is going to be a very troubling day. Besides having to do my C3 paper in the morning and Chem2 in the afternoon, I will also have to be involved in a project with the prefects. I hope I will cope.

Next week is also building up into a very hectic week. Amongst the things in store is the C4 exam, Speech and Drama exam, D of E overnight trip, a prefects' dinner and that will be followed by a prefect's training day. Gila sibuk jua ah ku pikir tah lapas exam ani dapat mikin relax but I stay incorrected.

Last Sunday, I along with half the population of the Dean Close lower sixth were taken away to the Cotswold Conference Centre....Gila! lawa tempatnya but the activities membari ngalihlah but ada jualah unsur2 cali and siuk, aku belakon di sini for the first time ever as a main character who gets killed though in a very comical way. Yang membari malunya Headmaster quote aku punya line *tsktsk*. I've gotta say Kem Qiadah lagi siuk-ish tapi accommodationnya unbeatable for a camp\course.

Well any trying to cram all the Mathematical and Chemical know-how in my lethargic brain, I seriously just feel like dosing off.

Tahun dapan our house ada system baru whereby orang form 4 kana jaga oleh org U6, that ought to be interesting. I really sekolah kami ada junior nanti and hopefully ada jualah di Tower but I actually doubt any of 'em will be in Tower.

A Week's notice

2009-05-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

It's on, the pressure of excelling in the upcoming exams is on. With about a week left to mentally prepare for the papers. The stress is getting to everyone's nerves and everyone's in exam mode. 48 days til Brunei can't wait.

Exciting Week Ahead.

2009-04-19T02:36:00.000-07:00

Long Overdue Post

2009-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

Due to my lack of posts, I now have a choice of writing a short sweet frivolous note or write a very explanatory and comprehensive post. Unfortunately I have chosen the latter as I have been patient enough to put up with the resistance that my currently retarded laptop is putting against me.

As mentioned in my last post, I have received loads of work for my participation in EYP, hockey and music lessons and yet somehow I find myself some time to kill or rather waste.

In a more detailed aspect, hockey was "shocking"(hyperbole). Kai and I steped onto the astro turf knowing zilch bout hockey. Not the rules nor the regulations all we had was curiousity, supidity and a hockey stick.

We received a great epiphany that we shan't wastethe coach's time teaching us from scratch and allocated ourself to the non-squad hockey with the juniors on the moist, muddy and malicious rugby field.Now, we are really getting the hang of it and on a petty note I scored my first goal today. So currently we are enjoying our time in Non-squad hockey although less mud on our clothing will be better but what did we expect from playing non-squad hockey. Ironically, our names are still under the school's third so maybe we'll move up....maybe.

EYP (European Youth Parliament) has a rather more serious thingy compared to the laidback BGIC back in Brunei. Instead of creating our own reso we just defend or oppose it. In the inaugral round, we're up against the CLC team on the topic of the EU's healthcare system. The judging system depends not solely on the debate but how the 8 people from each school work and it is still possible both schools go through as it had happened before.

Guitar lessons wise it has been somewhat relaxing and full of repetition which brings me back to the time I did Tae Kwan Do. It is quite brutal on my left fingers.Moreover, the teacher told me to not write any notes but to learn everything by heart. Unfortunately it is quite difficult to by-heart something that you're not completely passionate about but I can just about do enough to pass by.

Other things that had occured in the past 3 and a half weeks in school. The trials we're unexpectedly brutal but an ABBA is acceptable in their standards. Unfortunately, not in mine and more importantly not in the eyes of the MOE.My Bs came from maths (stats) and biology. In both I got commented of being a bit dissapointing, I'd have to agree.My supposed B subjects have contributed my As (how ironic!).

On another topic, I was bestowed with the senior half colours whereby for each activity I join or support the house in I receive points. 40 pts will give me Senior full colours. As the name suggests I have 20 pts no my name so Charlie Redman (sports powerhouse) and I were rewarded with the badge. How did I get it?
2(supporting)-Water polo, Cross Country and Rugby.
4(joined)-House Singing and Public Speaking
6(joined and win)-Senior House Quiz.
Will I get another 20 points by the end of this term? Don't think so! but so far it looks quite promising.
joined chess and supported hockey 14 pts more to go! how to get them? Hmmmm

Wish Me Luck

2008-12-25T05:08:00.000-08:00

It is about 10 days until the end of winter break and honestly I'm not dreading it. All this time in London had wasted my money, made me put on weight and become more negligent towards myself. On the contrary, at the start of the next term the trial exams commence!......well on the bright side I'm not doing my AS yet.

Exams aside there will also a sudden influx of work that I will acquire next term, starting a few new things will be a challenge but hey being busy is fun in my book! I am going to learn to play hockey, the guitar and supposedly been in the school's European Youth Parliament team. As daunting as it may sound I guess this kind of workload is normal for a student in my school or may even be quite inferior to others but when compared to the supposed chaos of trying to organise people for activities in Brunei, this may be an easier task but it will all depend on my will power as each of these things will require my own input without waiting for others.

phewww....Wish Me Luck!

For the whole 15 days of the winter break I have been in London and did somethings for the first and some for the second time ( does that even make sense?). First few days were rather laidback as our school was one of the earlier schools to be released from school. The farewell was horrible because I had to run all the way to the station in my suit in hope to catch my train! At least I did catch it. I was on a different train to the others and had a change in Swindon.

Lets just list stuff I've done so far.....Watched Les Mis at the Queens' theatre, went to West Drayton, went to Covent Garden Market again!, Winter Wonderland, Exploring Hyde Park, Walked from the Embankment Station all the way to the Tower of London at Night(much cooler than in the day), Held a Xmas dinner with Amy, Cris and Nuar,Bought a Jacket which tertinggal d Subway but they kept it and got it back, went to Tate Modern again!, Went to Kilburn to have Thai food (Halal) twice, Naik roller coaster for the 1st time ever unfortunately with a full bladder( no I did not pee in my pants!....it just hurted Alot!), went to Stamford Bridge again!, Ketinggalan bas di Victoria, watched Madagascar 2 and The Children. Dua2 inda seberapa....

Next post should be bout Cardiff so yeah

I WISH YOU A MERRY XMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR=)

Miraculous...

2008-12-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

On monday, the senior quiz final was held in the seminar room and in attendance were Kai, Naz, The Tower Household, the league of supporters from Dale and the newly elected Headmaster.

On the left of the quizmaster was the obviously confident and high-spirited Dale encouraged by seeing their Junior team trashing Field by more than 20 points. Meanwhile on his right, the head of school, James Melville, the appropriately attired Tim Menghini, the randomly intelligent Will Lancashire and at the very end, there was timid and worried, Me.

The whole quiz was unexpectedly close especially to me because I was demoralised by Field's defeat. Tower got the first 5 points but by halfway Dale was leading by about 3 points. Towards the end I got more and more anxious as I had not been of any help. I passed on the oppoturnity to state that Hell's Kitchen is in New York thinking it was too obvious, flinched when I knew the answers to the questions that have gone to Dale and was just too darn slow in pressing the button to answer the open the open questions I knew the answer to.

Well when it came to the word for word question, I contributed my only point in the whole match-up(sad but true..) well it was quite easy I suppose.

Red---- -----Master?

Well in the end, we (Tower!) won the match-up by an uncomfortably close scoreline!

Photos? Hmmmm........................I'll try getting some from Naz but no promises...

On Duty....

2008-11-30T01:23:00.000-08:00

This past week I have been the lower sixth on duty, it was quite an interesting experience met new people (not exactly) and also did 'chores'. The memorable part was time aku buat laundry after being asleep for half an hour so turun lah ku dengan my chelsea shorts and shirt(sajuk!), mula-mula ku pikir like 2/3 bags saja like according to Louis but ended up caryying bout a dozen but then I was bestowed with an information that rupanya I was not meant to do all of 'em but malas tah ku lagi buat saja tia semua.Whilst doing all the laundry my face was smacked with a gargantuan smile bukannya ku gembira actually menahan rasa!.Cikgu atu tagur cam aku gembira banar sampai ia sabut ia kan bagi taie emas don't know if I should take it seriously.

From monday to friday night, I had to supervise the remove's prep, unfortunately I am a classic case of a doormat so I was extremely lineant.Most of the remove's have this grrrrr-adolescence vibe bout them so I am quite fearful but there was one room that I feel okay in, so after the first day I ditched the desk and just sat on the floor and/or go to Fred, Hugo and Jack's room. They were entertaining for the most part and me being the 'generous' person that I am I gave them lots of food. It was also due to the fact that this past week I've been feeling nauseous!

Fred

Hugo

Jack

I feel like reminiscing and boasting.....

2008-11-08T03:20:00.000-08:00

Yes I did go to Stamford Bridge in my slipad jipun hahaha

The poor soul that I dragged along, Anwar!

After shopping and drooling over Chelsea Merchandise

Aah.....Stamford Bridge Home of the blues

These pictures are a bit long overdued so this was also an activity that I did during my 10 days stay in London again with m y normal crew. On the second, Nuar and I went all the way from Paddington to Fulham Broadway station which took us bout half an hour I think, well we were at Fulham Broadway, we did a little shopping as the town was quite nice and way more peaceful than Central London.

Well the actual reason we went all the way to Fulham Broadway was not because we heard that shopping was easy no it was actually quite limited but we went to visit or bask in the majesticity of Stamford Bridge.... Well actually it was my wish I just dragged Anwar along cause he did not mind

Curtain Call for Syawal

2008-10-28T14:17:00.001-07:00

Though this is not in chronological order ,on my 3rd day in London, the A level scholars and I went to the Dorchester to celebrate the so-far meaningless hari raya, the atmosphere was so dull I thought like we were at a really uptight function though ada pulang Guestof Honours, but I still believe raya has to be celebrated to the fullest extent especially for us yang berada di perantauan dan terpisah dari keluarga tercinta.

On the Way Ke Dorchester Pakai Bus PERCUMA!

Originally kami duduk di siring, few problems: stage inda nampak, and its boring then kami sadar ada seats yang far back tapi centre so clear view of the stage, Majority of us berhijrah ke kawasan atu : Fifah, Kai, Farhan, Muizzah, Baz, Jihan, Cris, Zakiah n I, disanalah udara yang adrenaline merasuk kami and mulalah kami students a level berseronok. Mula2 C Farhan, Fifah n Kai malas kan duduk di kerusi so wat to do? dorang duduk atas lantai

Then came singing performances and then the QUIZ "sambung lirik"(apa punya MC jarang liat Astro) Kai n I dapat hadiah since we got the lyrics right, then ada lucky draw yang c Naz manang. Bah I'll stop composing and just put on pictures to be enjoyed but I had to filter 'em since aku punya collection of pictures quite crappy.

All in All WE made Raya worth while!

Back From Half-term

2008-10-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

First Day:

Time of Arrival: 2 kali? inda ingat

Who was there?: Oundle, Mindef scholars and kami orang DCS

Boring jua sunyi Brunei Hall atu but at least kami ampit bilik!

So after hours of waiting datang tia sekolah-sekolah lain, so it was a reunion of sorts, after atu kami macam tunggu-tunggu ach other not knowing yang one is waiting for the others, Cris, Muizzah and I were fed up of waiting so we went off to Mughal's (Halal Indian Restaurant. Mahal!), We had Chicken curry, Lamb Curry, Boiled rice? It was stated in the menu and Chicken Korma and diorang minum Lassi aku minum pepsi light cause it was too steep for me, the waiter kept pushing us to buy the mahaler one sheesh annoying banar!

Photos of the first night inda banyak though:

aku masukkan jua gambar dorang c Fifah and Amalina cause that time dioranng ketawa for no reason and inda bawa aku!

Tower House-Victorious!/ My first Taie emas!

2008-10-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

After the so called narrow defeat in the house singing, Tower House manage to retain the title for both the senior and junior categories in cross-country, GO TOWER! GO TOWER!

ani sebelum flag-off orang exercise, C Kai makan Choc pulang! C Les just staring blankly!

ani just before flag-off the guys yang pakai vest with a maroon stripe or a red bib is from Tower!

Eddie Brecht for Tower House.He got second! Muanya tepampan obviously! indakan ku suruh ia stop and pose kan haahahh!

This is Jeff Ho my neighbour on the east side(I think?) He is my neighbour though sure bout that! Obviously Tower!!!!

During the whole thing Naz went all Indie Jones and went down the cross country trail just to get shots of the runners, I almost did so too but don't want to block their ways, so from the sideline ambil gambar and support towerians and our other friends who were actually running and shouted the names yang kami actually tahu nama diorang well from house kami sendirilah ( by kami I mean Kai & I), C Les strayed off somewhere with his friend(ditcher!).

Obviously I didn't run and you run only when you choose to, sini banyak rewards for those active student which I no longer am(hahahaha!).

After the waiting, I have finally received my first gold chit (yup, pronunciationnya taie!) for biology thank you Ms Coulton. But there is actually one gold chit yang pending hahaha! It's from Mr Marchand ironically the same teacher yang give aku 4 for effort(its a bad thing 1-excellent 2-very good 3-good 4-weak 5-very poor) so actually have 2 GCs. Inda apalah I have to wait till after half term! and I just need 1 more green chop from Dr. Bradley. So basically some teachers are easier to please for a gold chit than others. As a bonus we get a chocolate bar ( I got Dairy Milk).

I told you I'm not imagining things! Its there ,Gold Chit!

On top of that, I helped a 4th former with his maths prep and ia dapat 100% and ia dapat gold chit for it, so aku macam happy for him, I did nothing just helped (orang yang kenal aku berabis knows I am always willing to help when I can).Well Done Hugo!

Tomorrow, I have another phys test, so no maths test til after half-term, my tests ok, got my chem test back, so many stupid mistakes eh talur!

GO LAKSAMANA! GO TOWER! GO BRUNEI!

Naughty or unlucky

2008-10-13T13:44:00.000-07:00

First of all, sorry totally have taken a while to actually post anything new, not much to tell.

Half term is less than a week! hope this time kami dapat bilik or else its the surau again with the sound of train passing! annoying!.

Tomorrow ada house assembly, still waiting for both my chemistry test result and have both chem teachers tomorrow so I have to brace myself! So far so good, all As but stupid mistakes keep inhibiting me from getting a perfect score.

Oh! now I remember, I had detention last week hahah! It was for chem.

I do realise detention is a bad thing, I do! But I am not naughty or trying to be a rebel, I was just completely unlucky! Get this we have 2 chem teachers right, so I was excited to see Mr Dunbar (dunno y!), unfortunately it was a class with Mr Anstis with a chem prep due. It was not until I got to class when Naz gave me that startling truth (exaggerated!). What was the biggest thing I hate bout the episode? I did the prep already!!!!!!!!! baie kan, apa punya malang orang kampong aying seorang ani!

This is not my first time in this type of deep tai! Last time it was Maths with Mr Marchand but that was mostly procrastination pulang and unlucky cause I only had Bio in mind during fitness forgetting maths was looming beyond it.

I didn't join the quiz! Cause ramai dah orang L6 yang ikut and aku inda buat Tower House malu cause my GK bout current Europe is so horrible. Maybe the Senior Public Speaking?

Its a whole new day!

2008-10-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

Every time there is maths I feel inferior, the ever flowing preps keep pummeling my self esteem into the ground. Now, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the mathematics incompetence tunnel. It started yesterday when I got back Dr. Ryder's sequence n series prep I felt better cause I finally beat Lester and I was 1 mark shy of a perfect prep and today Mr Marchand( One of the heads in the school yang I happened to had a mess up of prep and caused all of this in the first place!) gave back our differentiation prep and I got full mark and again as a bonus beating Lester again(how petty I am!). {Sorry Lester!}

Stopping about my insignificant victories in class, today is a Monday thus its a day to do Squash and still the new batch of squash racket have not arrived so Kai n I are stuck with the retarded rackets from even before exeat!

Regarding my past post, there is another person from Brunei in Dean Close who has a completely different mission; to get fat. Might I say Kai you're on the right track, Kami main less than 10 minutes tadi waktu squash malas bah! And what did Kai do after the brief game?

On Monday, thats what we do. Lester and Naz are up to other things, Lester is learning to speak his mother tongue? and Naz is in a club which he calls the sleeping club as the prospect of watching classic movies did not pump adrenaline in his blood.

Kai and I are now addicted to itunes ia download tv stuff and I browse for music that tickles my fancy, I have spend an undisclosed amount online, thank god aku inda e-baying!.

With my babu's consent I had struck up a deal with myself! I have allocated myself a certain no of A's that relate to a certain type of ipod.

1 A- sorry no deal!

2A-ipod shuffle

3A-ipod nano

4A-ipod classic

This will be the calibration but if there is a test for stats a 5A would give me nahhh!, I'm not gonna splurge on an ipod touch. Need to save up for Uni.

Earlier the sixth formers were invited to drinks with the tutors us included but non of us went ( well Kai n I did but we left as soon as we saw the boos!). My neighbour Josh insisted on aku ikut turun and he said aku inda payah minum, ia suruh aku socialise with people outside the house,... I passed! Aku loner bah sini(lies!).

Love thy neighbours: somehow it resonates here but not all follows it, masa atu aku sakit diorang actually went into my room and tanya if I need anything and if I'm okay.( thanks Charlie and Josh).

The House Shout Saga Comes To A Close

2008-10-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks, each of the houses in DC has seriously but most of the time not seriously trained for the house singing competition.

In the Boys category there are 5 houses:

From Brook Court, we have the jawdropping crooner: Kai

From Field, the undoubtably talented but reluctant vocalist: Alex

From Gate, the beautifully harmonious belters, Lester and Naz

From Dale, well nada kawan d Dale yet so nadalah!

and Last but not least Tower, unstoppable singing sensation(as if!) Yours truly.

And tonight the houses battle it out for supremacy..........Outcome?!

Rumah C Kai manang for Unison Song and the rest of us are just a bunch losers! hahahaha. Well at least they just lost in the unison song and but i took part in the part song( only 'talented' people of the house kana pilih) which again we lost inda apalah bukantah rezeki tu!.

Oh appetite, Where are U?

2008-10-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

Tadi waktu we had our supper I had an epiphany, I was staring at ?Kai's very full plate, Lester's neatly arranged plate and Naz's hefty looking meal and my merely half filled plate and by the end of supper their plates were langis and mine was half-eaten(membazir!), my leftovers kana abiskan oleh c Naz, during breakfast earlier I faced the same scenario(Kai did the finishing though).

There has been a few warning signs that I am really freaking over! I don't want to lose weight that drastically! Karang kana ucap anorexic! I think its all in my mind but seriously lets judge the signs.

Exhibit#1.Before going to london I bought a tube of smarties yg basarlah!(before exeat) and till now alum abis! proof?

Exhibit#2

Saya makan mars bar kelmarin tapi masih lagi alum abis sampai ari ani!

Exhibit#3

Stock makananku dari Brunei alum lagi begarak2?! padahal inda banyak!(relative to Kai's).Except for the indomie yang kami share time sungkai well Lester inda pulang puasa (technical!) but he did have some indomie( sharing is caring!) tapi kami gila lapas atu, Bruneian pseudodrunkenness.No gambar kami begila though.

Exhibit#4
By right appetiteku semakin mengembang, Why?

Ini jadual mingguan

Isnin:Squash

Selasa:Badminton
Rabu:Community Action(no exercise, hiatus hahah)

Khamis:Badminton
Jumaat:Fitness

Sabtu:Badminton lagi!

Ahad:Rehatlah! ani pun diorang kan bawa main badminton!

A TWIN IN DEAN CLOSE?!

2008-10-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

Di sini aku merasa kesepian, apakan?! actually di sini as in in my house i feel secure although diorang macam a bit unsanitary(faham2 lah diorang kesajukkan) but I got used to it I suppose. But there is one thing yang aku paling surprised sekali, aku macam ada kembar di sini, well not that I think so but ramai orang fikir kami alike in many ways and I think I am starting to believe that I have an unnatural connection with him.

Namanya Mike tapi lebih dikenali sebagai Happy, ia orang sama rumah dengan aku tapi ia form5( I think) ia orang 'timur' and ia berisi macam aku. So what is it yang sama? sorry no pictures so not physically proven yet.

It first began waktu kami jumpa Mrs. Kent pasal Community Action for Wednesdays (school thingy), kami bercakap dengan ia and out of nowhere sal aku 'happy-go-lucky' iatah ia sabut "you remind me of Happy," aku macam "err ok," dan ia tanya if aku kenal, then aku inda, but now oklah!

What is similar?

1) Ia inda mind kana tagur oleh strangers.

2)He does this thing that is something I do sometimes rhyming tanpa menyedarinya.

3)Ia pandai nyanyi( apakan aku ah perasan!).

4)Ia macam kalau kana sumpah macam blurrr saja( I have been called stupid before tapi aku ignore and look where I am now!).

5)Ia macam pemurah kalau ketawa( aku mikin hard to please though...)

6)Rambutnya karau cam landak.

7)People comments he's soft as a pillow( I get the same thing in Brunei) as in badannya.

So macam funny in an awkward sense lah, whats worst c kai yang dengan ku dari Brunei actually mistook him for me!

Oh before I forget Happy Birthday Ah Lang aka Lester, Yay I'm no longer the only 18 year L6 in the whole school i think?, Whatever! Happy Birthday!

Sorry nada proper picture(hehehe) gambar di common room diorang, anyways thanks for the cake!( nyaman ada macam Flakes!)

SUASANA HARI RAYA

2008-10-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

The day begun as normal as yesterday, as in since raya started. We had breakfast and lunch. The lessons were varied: tutorial with Mr Garner was a waste(even he felt so), there was a lot funny and awkward incidences with Miss Coulton during bio, Dr Anstis was bored by us and vice versa.....well that was what I remembered from actual lessons.

In the afternoon we had community action, seperately. i went to Dalkeith Retirement home with Gemma from bio cause she has been going there already, it was quite depressing though thinking of how those old ladies( cause i didn't see any men) are left in the retirement home, most of them having to need hearing aid and some of them who can't barely utter a word, though there was this lady who told of an eye-opening although well-known situation. She said in a reminiscing tone that her family brought her there and never came back( so nasihat saya jangan catu eh!).Funny enough some of the ladies there know more bout Brunei, ignorant jua teen karang ani ah!

Finally! to the raya part of the post. Kami Dean Boys (saya, Kai, Naz & Lester) pergi beraya ke Cambrey house d CLC, kononnya teksi ani 6:50 ada, gagas kaliah seorang-seorang ngusai sinjang and apanya. Still get thrown those looks but screw them but actually ada yang suka and otherwise. Back to the teksi story, iatah kami nunggu till a few minutes past 7 so macam c Kai pissed off, hahah!

saksikanlah gelagat mereka yang sedang stress menunggu teksi yang betebiat.

Setibanya kami di Cambrey House( bear in mind it is a girls boarding house!). Kami inda disambut?! Waktu kana telefon dan subuk-subuk barutah bejumpa orang CLC brunei ani, inda pulang batah, lapas atu kami jumpa matron diorang (awkward!), then kami turun ke TV room di mana Zakiah menghalau orang yang sedang liat TV supaya kami dapat pakai. Lepas atu mencurah tia kuih-kuih raya sampai penuh meja. Walaupun suasana tak semeriah di Brunei bau raya masih ada! duduk tah ramai-ramai atas lantai menikmati jamuan yang disediakan.

Lepas atu kami balik after roll call nasib Mr Price jogging before kami jalan and aku sampat gitau sal beraya mun inda kana locker mark ku! wait aku inda pasti pulang aku alum check barang kali kana ku I hope nada!(after checking: namaku sesuci lebaran) no locker marks!, inda kana kurung.

Back to raya, kami the Dean Boys barutah pernah take a decent picture sama2, well i still believe its half decent cause kami confuse between cameras so lain lah arah dituju.But we did enjoy ourselves although c Ming Rui annoying ia pasik temple ku lagi!(Revenge is gonna be so sweet!So thank you CLC and special mention to Zakiah because ia yang halau the girls yang siok2 liat TV, thank Zakiah(cousin2).

bah til next post, salam aidilfitri dari saya di perantauan, ada pantun masih eh,

Pergi ke London meliat bula,

kan ke Chelsea ke Arsenal tia pulang,

Raya di Brunei baru bermula,

Meraikan kejayaan gilang gemilang.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

2008-09-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

to every1 pebaik ia d brunei or in uk n di mana2 saja di dunia ani.

to my family back home love n miss u all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin, Minal Aidi Wal Faizin & to some friends of mine jua: Hakim, Anwar, Kai, Naz, Baz, Syar, Muizzah and to avoid stepping on anyones foot and fall into the biggest cliche ever: selamat hari raya to sesiapa saja yang mengenali diri ini!

Sorry if aku ani unbearable and annoying to you and it may seem like it is only to you, for putting up with my sarcasmic and ludacris remarks throughout the year and jua siapa yang pernah saya umpat sorry although i know you don't know if i have, but i don't know if you do know that i have.

sunyinya raya tahun ani!

bah pantun raya untuk semua, yes i still do it here!

dalam bilik pakai pijama,
kainnya nipis dan juga ringan,
sungguh raya tahun ini tidak bersama,
jauh di mata di hati jangan.

Sorry kalau bida lama dah inda pantun!

what the hell?

2008-09-30T13:55:00.001-07:00

Dengan cara main tabak2 saja terjebaklah aku dalam dunia pem'blog'an.

But entah macam aku inda excited well yeah, so now alone in my house room hearing suara my levelmate bintang utama musicals d sekolah saya d uk ini yang merdu sangat n annoying jua.

Insya-Allah i'll update as frequent as possible to the oh so few people that actually who reads this blog or know its existance.